


Confessions of a Disaster Gay

by we_are_the_story



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD Lance, Bisexual Lance, Coming Out, Confessions, Cuban Lance, Gay Keith, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 19:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17028315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_the_story/pseuds/we_are_the_story
Summary: “I’m gay.”All chatter halted instantly as six faces swivelled around.Keith stirred his goop, breaking up the jelly-like substance into mush. “Just thought you should know.”“Wait—” Lance choked, spoon falling from his mouth. It fell onto the table with a clatter. “What?!”





	Confessions of a Disaster Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people, it's ya boi!
> 
> Surprisingly, this is not smut. I know, I am also impressed. 
> 
> This also has no plot whatsoever, but should be entertaining in that it is silliness incarnate and should not be taken seriously at all. Though, that being said, I quite like how it turned out, even if it could have been better and longer if I bothered to spend more time on it. But I am lazy as fuck. So.
> 
> Anyway. Thanks.

“I’m gay.”

All chatter halted instantly as six faces swivelled around.

Keith stirred his goop, breaking up the jelly-like substance into mush. “Just thought you should know.”

“Wait—” Lance choked, spoon falling from his mouth. It fell onto the table with a clatter. “What?!”

Keith sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

Pidge snickered into her food.

“You’re gay?!”

He levelled an unimpressed stare across the table. “It’s not a big deal, Lance.”

“Not a—not a _big deal!?”_ Lance shrieked, slamming his palms against the table, cutlery and bowls shuddering. “Are you crazy? Of course it is!”

“It’s really not.”

Lance gaped at him, eyes bulging, fingers dug into the table as if clawing for a different conversation. He said, almost breathlessly, “This changes _everything_.”

Keith scowled, knuckles turning white as he gripped the side of his bowl. “Just because I came out to you doesn’t mean I’m any different, Lance.”

Lance faltered. “No! That’s not what I mean!”

“There are only so many ways that could be taken,” Keith pointed out. “And a great deal of them point towards homophobia, so I’d choose your words carefully unless you’d rather find yourself without a head.”

Hunk started chocking on a laugh, fist thudding against his chest. “Holy _shit,”_ he gasped, ducking down to shovel more goop into his mouth to muffle his laughter.

Lance glared at Hunk. “Don’t even start,” he warned, before turning back to Keith, eyes shining with something Keith couldn’t place.

“I have several things I wish to say,” Lance began, staring at him expectantly.

Keith narrowed his eyes. “If you even think about saying anything that insinuates I’m inferior to straight people, rest assured, I _will_ kill you.”

Pidge snorted, turning her face away to cough into her elbow.

Hunk just hid his face, shoulders trembling.

Lance grimaced but counted on his fingers one at a time. “One: do you have any idea how many girls wanted to fuck you back at the Garrison and how many boys wants to _be_ you?”

Keith blinked. “Huh?”

“I mean seriously, there was at least three girls _per class_ that constantly talked about how attractive you were. It was all, ‘Oh, he’s so mysterious and broody. Why can’t any of the other boys he so mature and serious?’ and ‘He’s so hot when he’s angry,’ and ‘I can’t believe he’s friends with Takashi Shirogane. That’s so cool.’ I was always wondering why you never had a girlfriend. I guess now I know why.”

“I don’t—”

Lance counted off a second finger, “And let’s not even get into the sheer number of _people_ who envied you for being so perfect at everything. You were a common topic of conversation. Ho boy, what I wouldn’t give to see their reaction at realising the ideal white-ish straight smart hot broody mature student wasn’t so straight.”

“What are you even—”

He held his third finger up. “Can I also say that while you were a brilliant flyer and the students loved you, you were a terrible fucking student. For the teachers I mean. But it was understandable because most of the teachers didn’t even bother taking your anger management, delinquency and hands-on learning style into account. I’m like, ‘ _hello!_ There’s a motherfucking reason they have training on teaching different kinds of people, not just the neurotypical, straight A student that plays three instruments.’ I had enough trouble concentrating with my ADHD, let alone a different learning style and inability to control my anger. I mean c’mon, that’s gotta be rough! And also Iverson is an asshole, and it’s no wander you punched him. If I had more back bone I would have done it the first day!”

Keith stared at him. “You have ADHD?”

“Yeah.” Lance waved him off, presenting his fourth finger. “That’s not the point. Also, I just realised your issue with Mrs Dearman probably had less to do with the test you failed and more to do with her blatant homophobia. I mean, that’s just justice served angry and yelling. It was glorious.”

Keith turned helplessly towards Shiro. “What is happening right now?”

Shiro just smirked at him wordlessly.

“Fifth thing I want to address,” Lance went on. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me!?”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“ _Yes!”_

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Hi, my name’s Keith Kogane, I’m half Korean, half I-don’t-fucking-know, and I’m gay. What’s your name?”

“Exactly like that!” Lance said. “It’s a great opener!”

“You don’t just come out and say it like that!”

“ _I_ did!” Lance shouted. “I mean, admittedly I specifically said, ‘Hi, I’m Lance, Cuban and bi, and if you have a—”

“You’re _what!?”_

“—problem with. . .” Lance paused, hands hovering. “Um. . .you didn’t know?”

“What the _fuck?!”_ Keith shouted. “You’re _bi?_ Since _when?”_

“ _Since—?”_ Lance blinked. “What do you mean ‘since when?’ Since always? Surely you underst—”

Keith interjected quickly, “Of course I fucking understand, but how didn’t _I_ know this?”

Pidge and Hunk were gasping now, doubled over with one arm crossed over their stomachs, the other clutching at the table.

“ _Hunk,”_ Pidge said tearfully. “ _Hunk!”_

“I _know!”_ Hunk replied, stuffing his knuckles into his mouth. “I can’t _believe—”_

“All this time!” Pidge cackled. “How—?”

“ _SIXTH THING!”_ Lance bellowed over the laughter, flailing his arms about, long fingers splayed in the air like that childhood activity of making a turkey out of a hand print. “Is that the reason you were kicked out, because I know at least four people who punched and grievously harmed a teacher, who _didn’t even get detention for it!?_ ”

He paused a moment, turning to Shiro with a complicated expression. “I’m beginning to think that school was just all around racist and homophobic, and I honestly have no idea how you even got to your position. I mean, I just spoke back against one teacher, _one teacher,_ for like a second and I got a months’ worth of detention and shorter curfew.”

Shiro blinked at him.

Allura leaned over towards Coran. “Are you following?”

Coran shook his head.

Lance turned back to Keith in the silence. He scowled. “But mother _fucking_ James could do it all day and the teachers would just smile as if he told the funniest joke in the universe!”

“I remember that!” Keith burst out. “I _remember_ that! It make me _so angry_ that James could get away with that shit, but the moment you or Hunk or someone of colour or of a different sexuality or outside the gender norm even whispered out of turn, they’d get reprimanded like they were the second coming of the devil!”

“And _lastly,_ if I knew you were—” Lance froze, before his eyes slowly lifted from where he had been scowling at the table, to Keith who sat there, fists clenched. A beat passed in silence before Lance said, “Could you repeat that?”

Keith frowned. “Repeat what?”

Lance cleared his throat, lips twitching as if trying to fight off a grin. “That first thing you said. Could you say it again?”

Shiro’s snickering was loud enough to be heard over Hunk and Pidge.

“I was angry?”

“Nonono,” Lance said. “Before that.”

Keith stared at him as another tense moment ticked by. Quietly, creepily, his eyes widened, and his cheeks pinked, ears turning red. His heart throbbed painfully behind his ribs. He swallowed. “Um.”

Lance grinned manically. “I knew it!” he shouted, breathless, pointing his finger at Keith. “I _knew_ you remembered me!”

Shiro snorted between his gasps for breath and Keith gritted his teeth.

“No you don’t,” Keith hissed, ducking his head to hide his blushing face.

“You just said it!” Lance screeched. “I heard you! You said, ‘I remember that!’ You said it! You remember me from the Garrison!”

“No I didn’t.”

Lance rounded onto Pidge. “You heard him!”

“Heard what?” Pidge countered nonchalantly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you hear it, Hunk?”

Hunk smirked. “No, I can’t say that I did.”

Lance growled, “Oh, c’mon!”

Shiro sounded like he couldn’t breathe while Allura and Coran were watching the proceedings with complicated looks on their faces as if they didn’t quite understand what was happening. Hunk and Pidge were non-verbal.

Keith sighed and slumped back in the chair. “Alright, I lied,” he mumbled into his chest.

Lance leaned forwards, leering. “Could you speak up, I didn’t hear you.”

“I lied!” Keith shouted. “I lied, alright! I panicked! What was I supposed to say? I hadn’t seen you in a year and you were just suddenly there? Like I needed to process seeing you again, so I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind!”

He stopped, chest heaving.

Lance stared at him from across the table. “Why?”

“Why what?” Keith snarled, breathless, face hot.

“Why would you panic?”

Keith groaned in frustration and raked his fingers through his hair. “You—I don’t—can’t you just—I want—can’t I— _UGH!”_

“Wow,” Lance said. “Just spit it out already.”

Keith hesitated, glancing at the eagerly awaiting paladins and the confused Alteans. They looked to excited about the conversation that Keith didn’t think they’d be willing to leave to spare Keith the embarrassment. He took a deep breath.

Alright. Time for the humiliation.

“We shared three classes, Lance,” Keith said.

“I know, I was there,” Lance replied dryly.

Keith winced, heart thudding painfully. “Look, Lance,” he said. “I panicked because I had resigned myself to a lifetime without seeing you in class every day, or hearing you laugh, or watching you interact with other people. I said I didn’t remember you because. . .”

He lost his nerve and swallowed thickly.

“. . .I, um.”

“A lifetime without seeing me. . .?” Lance prompted in a tone of voice that suggested disbelief. “What? Were you, like, pining, or something?”

Shiro heaved in a desperate breath but said nothing.

Keith blushed harder, if that was even possible.

His silence was probably telling.

Lance’s eyes slowly widened. “Wait. Waitwaitwait, you. . .”

“Please don’t make fun of me,” Keith blurted out.

He was sure that is Hunk, Pidge and Shiro had popcorn, they’d be gnawing on it.

Lance stared at him.

The room was silent.

“I didn’t want to say I missed you,” He said, finally. “I could always hear your pen tapping and no matter how much it irritated me, I felt myself missing it. You always laughed too loud, but you were serious when it mattered. You were rambunctious, but you got your work done, and you were respectful of other people’s studies. In our second year you dyed your hair light blue and were forced to dye it back, even if it was a shade or two darker. You complained to the canteen workers when they tried and failed to make Cuban food.”

Lance gaped at him.

Keith swallowed thickly and looked away. “I panicked because I had resigned myself to a lifetime without seeing you in class, so I said I didn’t remember you in the hope that I might forget one day.”

He waited for the fallout.

Waited and did not receive.

Lance hissed out the corner of his mouth, “Team Punk?”

“Yeah, it’s mutual,” Pidge whispered.

Hunk nodded. “You heard right.”

And a brilliant smile lit up Lance’s face. “Score,” he whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> Please, comment and kudos if you enjoyed!


End file.
